I heard about this from a friend and decided to email you guys about my problem,
I'm a girl going into 7th grade now. I am of hispanic descent but the only way you can tell is because I have curly brown hair a tad bit darker skin then everyone else and I have a wider (but not by much) nose. I wear glasses. I wear pretty much what everyone else wears in middle school (skinny jeans, t-shirt, aero jacket) and I make friends really easily. Just not with "popular" people.
There is this Summer girl who hates me I swear. We are in the same "clique" and supposedly close friends.She never invites me to her house, talks about me behind my back, always asks for me to "help" her with her homework and classwork. Then if I ever get something wrong she laughs at me. It's just this past sixth grade year that this has happened and before that we were friends. The problem is all my other friends are really close friends with her. And I mean ALL my other friends: close friends, friends, acquaintances. Of course, when I'm around her with other people she's perfectly nice to me. Well, actually, that's a lie. We all share food at lunch and she always hesitates when she gets to me and says, "...here..." I used to cry in the shower at home during the school year. One time I had finished lunch and she and another girl Jazzy would run away from me and hide in the bathroom. I used to spend my whole lunch looking for them. A nicer girl, Kendall, told me where they were hiding and Summer climbed over the stall to try to get away from me. I don't know what to do about it. We ate lunch together ever day and will probably do the same next year. The people who aren't really friends with her are people who I don't want to spend time with (rude, perverted). I have seriously no idea what to do!
Here is our answer:
First of all, hello Serena! Thank you for coming onto this blog and asking us for help; I hope that you find our advice useful, thank your friend for directing you to us, and tell some other people about us!
Its good that you have a group of friends to hang out with, but its always true, that in a group, you don't get along with everyone in it. Here are the steps we suggest you take:
1) Confront Summer about this situation. Talking about a problem is always the mature, right thing to do because it shows your not talking behind her back, which would make it a bigger problem. Sometimes, it can end the problem very quickly incase there was a misunderstanding between you two.
2) If she also is aware of the problem and wants to solve it, thats great and you should try to be open to talking about it. However, if she blows off what you are saying and/or continues to exclude you, she isn't worth it, or you are just not meant to be friends. If she is acting this way towards you, and continues to after you talk about it, we think that you should move on to nicer girls, like Kendall.
3) The important thing to remember is that a true friend will make you feel comfortable, and in turn, they will feel comfortable around you.
To wrap this up, don't force friendship. If she continues to purposely exclude you, and you don't like her friends that she chose to spend time with, then the best decision is just to walk away and create your own group of friends. You don't want to waste your time with her. We wish you the best of luck (:
Love,
Shane and Honour xx
