Okay hey! I've know this guy since I was in Kindergarden, and we went to school together until grade six. We have most of the same interests. We usually were always together at school, but we were only 12. The last day of grade six came and we both went to different schools. I barley ran into him, and we used to email back and forth. For a bit. He was nice to me.
SO then, 4 years passed and it was the summer of 2012. Just finished grade ten. There was an event that old friends from our old school, and we all got together. (Keep in mind it was 4 years apart, and high-school happens.)
Everyone traded numbers, and ever since that night him and I texted all the time. He didn't text the other girls. He chased my car as I was driving away from the event too.
He always texted me first with a simple 'hey' and we would talk till 2AM. He once ranted to me about these girls that we both don't like, and we would just laugh. It surprised me - how can he start ranting to me after a week when we started texting? Anyways, he say RANDOM things like:
1. I'm under your bed
2. Now I'm on top
3. What is your house number? I'm
on your street. Way to come out and say hi. (I wasn't home.)
He told me things about himself that he loves washing dishes at work and it was something that guys never usually say, right? I asked him why he loves doing that, he said it passes the time and he thinks.
Now, I'm sorry If I am boring you, but to make you understand things you need to hear this. ONE night, there was this 'prank' he pulled on me. He basically told me he hooked up with one of the 'girls' we both hated, he kept going with it and so did she. He told her: 'lets play a prank on X (me) that we hooked up' ---- I didn't believe it. When the prank ended, we talked till late. He said he had to work early the next morning, I said well go to sleep, he said no its okay. So theres that.
Also there was this dinner that a bunch of friends went to, he couldn't go and texted me that night saying ya I wish you wanted me to be there. Theres that too.
Next is the BIG thing that always will come back in my memories. He told me he liked this girl, her name is Laura. I was like oh cool. This is what he kept asking:
-I really like her
-Do you think she likes me?
-Tell me how I know she likes me.
-Do you think she likes me back?
Me: ask her.
Him: how do I tell her
Me: Be Normal
Him: Yo I like you.
OKAY. Was this a cover up for
Me? That was where things got confusing, he said things that I didn't understand what they REALLY meant. After that he didn't respond as fast, and said he was tired. Goodnight.
Summer went fast, and next thing you know, Fall came. Grade 11 started and he would send me the casual hey sometimes. I had a loss in the Family and he told me he was sorry to hear about that. We didn't talk as much as we used to though. I guess school got in the way, he got busy.
Then I got a new phone and new number because my other phone broke. I told him my number and he never messaged me back. We went a good two months without talking, it felt weird. I messaged him three weeks ago, he asked me things about my phone, then that was it. Then he called me 'champ.' I haven' talked to him since.
So, what does that all mean?
Thank you for reading this. It means so much! Xoxo
Here is our answer:
Ok so, first, boys are weird. Not a bad weird, but sometimes their actions seem really strange and random. Let’s start off with your and Jack*’s early friendship. Childhood friendships create a bond, as any friendship does, but since you are developing at this time, that bond is pretty strong. Later on, it is not surprising that Jack reached out and tried to build a friendship again, and as you had just finished grade 10, it is no surprise that some of that friendship became flirty or romantic.
Now, before we move on, the chain of events you told us about are 100% understandable and natural. It is flattering to have a guy reach out especially to you, so why not talk until 2 AM? After the flattering and flirty guy, though, there is a real person, who is going through the exact same thing you are going through- asking why this is happening, being surprised, being confused. In other words, keep in mind that everything you were unsure about he probably was too.
So after talking for a while, he starts getting restless, which leads him to come on a bit stronger. Pranks, and texts conversations like the big thing you told us, are all ways for Jack* to dip his toes in the water, or see if you return any of his feelings. He was definitely interested at this point.
As this relationship reached its height of confusion, where it was either friendship or a relationship, summer ends. This was a change in environment, people, everything (for both of you!). After not having a relationship, Jack* may have been a bit hurt, or embarrassed, about telling you his feelings, so he slowly backed out of constant texting, personal comments, etc. And when you changed your phone, it gave him a chance to really step back, and move on.
This is really a ‘put yourself in the other person’s shoes’ situation. Remember that relatinships aren’t one-sided- there is a lot of questioning on both sides.
We hope this helps in some way! Thanks for sending us your question- it was a good one!
Shane and Honour